I came home from a night out a couple years ago to find a very muscular man sleeping in the hallway just outside my condo. He had pissed himself, and vomit - well, mostly liquor - soaked the carpet under his face.
I thought to myself, "Now, HE looks like fun."
A couple days later, he knocked on my door, and asked if he could use my wireless internet, offering to split the bill every month.
He had a black eye.
I thought to myself, "This guy REALLY looks like fun!"
He handed me five bucks, and I gave him my wireless password.
The very next weekend, I left my place early on the Sunday, and there he was again passed out in the hallway.
So the next time he came to pay for internet, I told him if he forgot or lost his key again he was welcome to knock on my door and crash on the couch.
It was the beginning of what has turned out to be the two drunkest summers of my life (so far), so he's in a good number of my stories, as well. He will henceforth be called 'Ruben'.
