Ruben tends to keep his ear to the ground in the world of getting drunk.
He heard that there was a beer fest coming to town, and he asked me to go with him.
I think between the two of us, we bought close to two hundred drink tickets. Each one gave us half a plastic cup of beer of our choosing. Essentially enough to buy us fifty cans of beer each. There were some weird ones, but after tasting ALL of them, I found a couple that I liked, and a couple with girls behind the counter that I liked.
It's important to have that balance in your life... between alcohol and women. Especially for me, since if I have too much of one, I don't get enough of the other. Actually, it's kind of a one-way scale, but I have priorities.
I'm not sure if it was the beer goggles, but I remember there being a lot of girls there that raised my eyebrows. Ruben and I ripped the place up like two tornadoes of destruction. I remember pretty clearly making out with a blonde girl, and ended up getting a picture in the local newspaper of me chugging a full bottle with a hot brunette that had tattoos like Bif Naked.
I used all of my tickets. All of them. Fifty cans of beer consumed in about four hours. That's a whole can every five minutes.
It was one of the first times Ruben and I drank together. I think I had grossly underestimated the level of alcohol consumption he could influence me to drink.
By the end of the night, I was a mess, and it ended up being the second time I'd ever gotten sick.
When I got home, I got naked and got in the shower. Kind of my way of sobering up. It helps, sometimes.
Not this time.
I regained consciousness from a blackout covered in carrots and potatoes. I'd had stew for supper. I didn't remember actually puking, but most of it had already been washed off by the running water. I thanked the shower out loud for being a comfortable place to sit, and passed out again.
I woke up in my bed, fully naked and still drunk.
The shower still had vomit in it.
A lot of vomit in it.
With large chunks of food.
I made a mental note to chew my food better and started cleaning it up. I had to pick it up in handfulls. It was too big to wash down the drain. Every handful would soak through the paper towel and leak, so it was all over my hands and dripping down my arms.
Still drunk, my coordination wasn't great, and at one point I lost my balance. I put my hand down to catch myself and slipped in it. My hand splashed chunks into my face and I landed on my elbow. It was foul and slimy. It still kind of tasted like stew, but was mostly just essence if bial.
Yes. It went in my mouth. Mmmmm, six hour old vomit. Delicious.
When I was done cleaning up, I called Ruben and we went and got hangover food... and a few pints of beer. Nothing like more alcohol to cure a hangover.
And, to get another night started, of course.
